


as your heart goes (up)

by yumetourou



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, hot girl summer isnt over til i say so, sorry i cant write actual smut so u get this bootleg version of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 14:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20707280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumetourou/pseuds/yumetourou
Summary: “Are you going to kiss me or not, Chanhee?”





	as your heart goes (up)

Chanhee trudged his way up the driveway. Truthfully, there wasn’t anything on the driveway making it hard to walk, but the heaviness with which the heat hung in the air made it a chore to walk anywhere, especially in the evening. He cursed his manager for scheduling him so that his shifts ended during the hottest part of the day, knowing damn well he walked to and from work. He knocked, three sharp sounds despite his exhaustion, and was met with a familiar face.

“Hi Ms. Moon, is Kevin there?” His friend’s mum smiled at him, and he smiled back. 

“He’s in the garage, he’s been there for hours. Sorry I couldn’t pull him out of there, I wasn’t expecting you.” As Chanhee kicked off his shoes in the entryway, he made a mental note to place them nicely. Kevin said his mother didn’t like it when Chanhee left his shoes scattered. 

“That’s okay, he isn’t expecting me either. Kind of a surprise visit. Thanks!” Chanhee took off down the hall to the indoor entrance to the garage. The door was left ajar, meaning that if Chanhee was quiet enough and Kevin was focused enough he could sneak up on his best friend. He slowly pushed open the door, knowing it wouldn’t creak, and padded over to where Kevin was crouched by a car. He placed his hand on the other boy’s shoulder, feeling the heat Kevin was giving off before they even touched. Kevin jumped, his wrench clattering to the ground. 

“At least warn me if you’re coming in, mom!” Chanhee giggled, often he was called “mom” when he paid Kevin surprise visits. 

“Try again, Kev.” Kevin turned to look at him, seemingly checking if it really was Chanhee. 

“Chanhee? What are you doing here? I thought you worked until seven.” 

“That’s tomorrow. I thought I’d surprise you.” If Chanhee could smile any wider, he would have. 

“Why are you smiling so wide, dumbass?” Chanhee immediately scowled at Kevin. 

“Because it’s finally summer, Kev, and we’re finally done with high school. Aren’t you excited?”

“What’s there to be excited about?” Chanhee gave Kevin a playful shove. 

“What’s there not to be excited about?” He whined. “We’re done with school, the weather’s nice, and,” he wiggled his brows, “this is our first legal summer.”

“Pfft, like being of age has ever stopped you before. I saw you blackout drunk last year more times than you remember.” Kevin ran his hand through his hair, and Chanhee’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest. Did he mention that last year was the summer he fell hard for Kevin? It shouldn’t have been a surprise to him when he realized, but the line between friendly affection and more-than-friends affection for Chanhee was a thin one. The clinginess wasn’t new for them, but the pangs of jealousy Chanhee felt when Kevin was affectionate with their other friends and the amount of times he was caught staring should have given it away. 

“Earth to Chanhee?” A hand waved across his vision, snapping him out of his daydreams. 

“Sorry. The heat’s making me zone out.” 

“Is it that bad outside? I didn’t notice.” 

“That’s because you’re always cooped up in this garage working on a car you can’t even drive. Where’d you get this thing anyways?” Kevin shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Some used car dealership. It was in shit condition when I got it though, so by the time its fully restored I’ll have my license. You’re the one that’s scared of driving, not me.” He fluffed Chanhee’s hair, and Chanhee lightly swatted his hand away.

“Do  _ not  _ get your sweat all over my hair. I  _ just  _ bleached it.” Their former high school didn’t allow for dyed hair, so Chanhee changed it as drastically as he could as soon as he could. 

“Oh yeah, it looks good. Didn’t know you wanted to go blonde.” Chanhee hoped the blush creeping up his cheeks blended in with the flush from the heat. 

“I didn’t either. Kind of an impulse thing.” Chanhee rearranged his hair, which had been rendered a mess by Kevin. 

“Are you gonna stay the night?” Chanhee thought for a minute. His original plan was to just stay for dinner and make his way back home, but the offer of a sleepover was too tempting. 

“Sure, why not. As long as you promise we do something fun instead of staying cooped up inside.”

“What if we do something fun inside? You just said the heat is making you loopy.” 

“Fine by me,” Chanhee obliged, “as long as its not in this garage and with you its fun.” He constantly walked the tightrope between flirting and friendly comments, always worrying he’d fall too far toward a certain side. Luckily, Kevin was too dense or too careless to catch on, and Chanhee was leaving for university in Seoul in two months’ time. Part of him prayed that he would make it through the summer, move, and forget about his obligatory Big Fat Gay Crush on His Best Friend. This summer would be rough though, since he and Kevin had planned to spend nearly every day together before Chanhee left. He was promptly snapped out of his daydreams, quite literally. Kevin was snapping in his face. 

“If you keep spacing out I’m gonna have to take you to the clinic.” Chanhee shuddered inwardly at the thought of going to the clinic and having to explain to the nurse that no, he was not lightheaded, just a lovesick fool. How embarrassing. He cracked a small smile thinking about that fact that at least his story would probably make the nurse’s day. 

“Maybe if you weren’t so  _ boring  _ I wouldn’t be spacing out.” The vaguely offended look Kevin gave him only made Chanhee smile more. 

“Hey! I’m fun! Juyeon gave me some new kind of dope, we can smoke it after dinner.”

“Do  _ not  _ call it dope in my presence  _ ever again. _ ”

“Well what else should I call it? The devil’s lettuce? Kush? Party parsley? That hard shit?” Chanhee was too dumbfounded not to laugh at Kevin. 

“Why do you know all those names? Party parsley  _ has  _ to be fake.”

“Nope. 100% real and genuine. I looked it up.”

“God, you’re such a loser, Kevin.” Kevin winked at him and Chanhee swore his heart skipped nine beats. 

“Your loser.”

☼

Hazy smoke curled out of Chanhee’s mouth, his eyes following every small billow and wisp. The pattern it made in the air was oddly intriguing to him, more so than usual. He placed the smoked blunt in the ashtray and hummed to himself before looking back to the rising smoke. When it was fully dispersed, he shifted his gaze to Kevin, who was only half paying attention to him and only to make sure he was okay. The rest of his attention was on the guitar he was softly tuning. Even though it wasn’t music and just random notes, Chanhee loved it when Kevin played guitar. Something about Kevin’s music was especially beautiful, maybe because he always added his own style to songs he covered. Or maybe because everything Kevin did was beautiful to Chanhee. In his daze, his eyes had dropped to Kevin’s hands. He wasn’t fully aware of what he was doing, and he ended up staring, fantasizing in the back of his mind about what those hands could do to him. 

What?

He was a teenage boy. He had his needs. 

He giggled to himself, what a situation he was in. His giggles slowly bubbled into laughter, to a point where he couldn’t contain himself. Overtaken with laughter, he let himself fall back onto the bed, laughing until his stomach hurt. Kevin’s soft plucking of the strings, which had previously filled the room, petered out. Chanhee heard him let out a small snort of laughter, but he wasn’t sure if Kevin was laughing at him or with him. Not that he cared, though. 

“You okay?” He seemed to be containing his own laughter, but genuine concern laced his voice as well. Chanhee took a deep breath to stop his laughing, just enough that he could utter an understandable response. 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m okay.” Though he had calmed down, he still couldn’t stop himself from grinning. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, really, I…”  _ I just really like you, Kevin, and I was also thinking about getting fingered by you. Funny stuff, yeah?  _ “I don’t know. Just laughing at myself, I guess.” The mattress sank behind him, and Chanhee rolled onto his other side to face Kevin. He expected to be peering up at his friend, but instead came face to face with him. So close that he could see his own shock reflected in Kevin’s glasses. 

“Hey,” Kevin whispered. 

“H-hey,” Chanhee barely choked it out. He and Kevin were used to being close, but not this close. Never this close. He knew he was blushing and he told himself he didn’t care, Kevin could see it and there was no hiding when they were only mere centimetres apart. “You’re a little close there, a-aren’t you?” His cheeks were so warm he was probably giving off the same amount of heat as a space heater. His eyes dropped to Kevin’s lips, which had formed a smirk. The same part of his mind that was responsible for his fantasies from earlier told him that  _ you could kiss him, you know _ . However, in the split second it took Chanhee to decide, Kevin gave him a light shove so that he laid on his back. 

“What was that for?!” Chanhee tried to feign annoyance, but the blush lingering on his cheeks probably gave him away. 

“For making it awkward, loser.”  _ Your loser.  _ Kevin’s words from earlier echoed throughout Chanhee’s mind. Why would he say that?

“Well maybe if you’re gonna be that close to me, warn me or something.” He shifted so he could face Kevin but still maintain what little distance was between them. Kevin, however, had other plans. For however much distance Chanhee tried to put between them, Kevin moved closer. Close enough that the tips of their noses were nearly touching. The air felt electric around them, and Chanhee feared that if they touched he might short circuit. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Kevin blew a quick puff of smoke into his face. Which, of course, Chanhee inhaled. 

“Kevin Moon,” he barely managed to choke out the words during his fit of coughing, “you are the absolute  _ worst! _ ” Once he was sufficiently red in the face and out of breath, he finished coughing. “ _ That’s _ what you were getting so close for?!” Kevin was too busy dying of laughter to answer him. Chanhee glared at him until he was calmed down. 

“It was too good not to. But, real talk,” Chanhee was suddenly on high alert, “are you gonna actually kiss me or just keep staring at me like you’re going to?” Chanhee’s mind short circuited. 

“Wh-wha..?” Kevin had pulled him close enough that their noses were touching, and from where his hands sat on Chanhee’s collar, Chanhee was sure he could feel his heart racing. 

“Are you going to kiss me or not, Chanhee?”

“N-no? Why would I-”

“Jeez, do I have to do everything myself?” Kevin’s hand under his chin was soft but strong as Kevin kissed him with the same gentle intensity. Chanhee closed his eyes and let himself melt into Kevin’s touch, Kevin’s lips, only to have him pull away sooner than expected. Chanhee tried to hide his disappointment but ultimately ended up pouting at Kevin. 

“Oh, come on, it couldn’t have been  _ that  _ bad.” Kevin’s hand was still under Chanhee’s chin, and he gently lifted his head up. 

“The only bad part was when you pulled away.” Chanhee tried to kiss Kevin like Kevin kissed him, but he just ended up smashing their noses together which ended in giggles. 

“Why don’t you just let me lead? All you have to do is follow what I do.”

“I know how to kiss,  _ thank you very much _ .” Kevin snorted with laughter at him. 

“Not very well.” Chanhee opened his mouth to protest, but before he could get the words out, Kevin’s tongue had pushed whatever he was going to say out of existence. As much as his pride disagreed, Chanhee preferred it when Kevin lead. Kevin’s hands curled into his hair and he pulled ever so slightly, causing Chanhee to squeak in surprise. Kevin pulled away again, worry in his eyes.

“Did I hurt you?” Chanhee smiled at that. Even when he was trying to seem cool and hot, Kevin still worried about him. 

“God, no, it just surprised me.”

“Do you… do you like it rougher?” Chanhee’s smile turned to a grin. 

“I like whatever you like.” Kevin grinned back at him. 

“Good boy.”

Chanhee quickly learnt that Kevin did, indeed, like it rough. In all the times Chanhee had imagined kissing Kevin (it was a lot), he imagined Kevin being soft and gentle, like the first kiss. This time, though, Kevin kissed him hard enough to bruise. He parted Chanhee’s lips with his tongue and shoved it as far into Chanhee’s mouth as it would go, all while gripping the back of his clothes and hair. Chanhee loved every second of it, he loved every brush of skin and meeting of their lips. He loved Kevin, but Kevin didn’t need to know that. He did think about telling him, though. When Kevin slipped his hands under Chanhee’s shirt, Chanhee pulled him closer to prevent him from pulling away when he jumped in surprise.  _ It’s okay,  _ he wanted to say,  _ just keep doing what you’re doing _ . When the callouses on Kevin’s hands sent shivers down his spine, he quietly whimpered into Kevin’s mouth. Kevin apparently heard it, and broke the kiss to accommodate the giggles he couldn’t contain. 

“You didn’t just do that in my  _ mouth _ .” 

“I did do that in your mouth, and you can’t stop me.” Chanhee felt a little smug, even if he was being laughed at. He knew Kevin laughed when he was flustered. 

“Not gonna lie, that  _ was  _ pretty hot. But also like, super unexpected.” Kevin’s hair flopped into his eyes as he laughed, and Chanhee reached up to push it away, only for it to flop back into his eyes again. 

“Did you like it?” Chanhee caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror over Kevin’s shoulder, his hair messy and his lips reddened. For Kevin, he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Of course I liked it.” Chanhee saw that as his chance. If Kevin could pretend to be cool, then he could too. 

“Then make me do it again,” he whispered, just loud enough for Kevin to hear. Before he knew it, he was on his back with Kevin straddling his hips. Kevin’s hands had made their way from his waist back to his hair as Kevin kissed along his neck, sucking the occasional mark onto his soft skin. Chanhee also found out that Kevin was a biter, his breath catching when Kevin nipped at his skin. He couldn’t contain himself and he let out a soft moan, a sense of pride filling him when he felt Kevin smiling against his collarbone. Kevin then cupped his face and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“I didn’t think you’d be this… this vocal.” Chanhee’s face immediately turned red. 

“You’ve…. thought about me like that? About kissing me?” Kevin rolled off of him and onto his side, his hand making itself at home on Chanhee’s thigh. 

“I’ve thought about more than just kissing you.” Chanhee’s mind was still a little foggy, and Kevin slowly rubbing his inner thigh was not helping his focus. “Have you thought about me like that?” 

“I… hmm... I’ve thought about kissing you…” Chanhee’s breathing was scarily audible in his own ears. Kevin could probably hear him too, considering he had gotten quite close again. 

“Have you thought about sleeping with me?” If Chanhee could turn any redder, he would have. 

“You know the answer to that.” Kevin smirked at him. 

“Do I? Maybe you should tell me so we’re on the same page.” Chanhee swallowed, trying to gulp down his fear. 

“I’ve thought about it.”

“I wanna hear you say it.”

“I’ve… I’ve thought about having sex with you.” Kevin leaned in and kissed along his jaw, his grip on Chanhee’s thigh tightening. 

“Well, considering your pants are looking a little tight, I think we should get to it.”

☼

Chanhee did end up finding out what Kevin’s hands could do to him, and he wasn’t disappointed. He still laid flat on his back, too exhausted to get up, while Kevin washed his hands in the bathroom. He heard the sink stop running and lifted his head to see Kevin peeking out of the bathroom door. 

“You should come wash your mouth, you know.” 

“But I’m lazyyyyy.” He heard Kevin pad over to the side of the bed. 

“I’ll drag you if I have to.” Chanhee sighed and rolled out of bed, pulling on his underwear before taking Kevin’s hand and being led to the washroom. He gently swished some water around in his mouth like mouthwash, while Kevin watched from the door frame. He spit it out, wiped his mouth, and turned to hug Kevin. He didn’t know why he did it, but something in him wanted to be held. 

“What’s this about? You okay?” Chanhee nodded, Kevin’s warmth surrounding and enveloping him. 

“Just wanted a hug,” he mumbled into Kevin’s neck. 

“Anything else you want?” Kevin started rubbing circles on the small of Chanhee’s back, and Chanhee almost turned into a puddle right there. 

“I wanna lay down. ‘M tired.” Kevin silently nodded and brought Chanhee back to the bed, laying beside him. 

“You did good, you know? Like, really good.” Chanhee’s cheeks flushed, and he resisted the urge to bury himself in Kevin’s chest by covering his face with his hands. He blushed even more when Kevin softly kissed the top of his head. “I didn’t expect you to be this shy afterward, though.” Chanhee finally peered up at Kevin, whose eyes were the most gentle he’d ever seen them. He had so much he wanted to say, but alas all he could utter out was a simple:

“You’re pretty.” Kevin cracked a huge grin at that, and Chanhee melted all over again. 

“Didn’t know you were into being told what to do. What else are you into?” Chanhee poked him in the chest, feeling his heartbeat through the tip of his finger. 

“I’m into you.” 

“Well, I knew that. I’m into you too, Chanhee.” Chanhee felt his eyes widen. 

“Really?”

“Yes really. I wouldn’t have done all that if I wasn’t.” At perhaps the worst time, Chanhee’s stomach growled loudly. “Are you hungry?”

“I guess I am.” Kevin swung his legs over the bedside and stood up, extending his hand to Chanhee and pulling him out of bed. 

“Put on your pants and we can go get some food.” Chanhee wiggled into his pants and followed Kevin downstairs, rushing to keep up with him. They were met in the kitchen with a smile from Kevin’s mother, and part of Chanhee worried she knew everything that happened. 

“Hi boys, everything okay? You were pretty quiet up there.” Chanhee hoped his smile didn’t falter. 

“Oh yeah, we’re fine. Chanhee fell asleep for a bit and now he’s hungry.” Relief washed over Chanhee.  _ Thank God for Kevin _ . 

“Yeah, long days at work in this heat get me sleepy.”

“Well, I’m glad you rested up. There’s some melon in the fridge if you’re interested.” Chanhee nodded enthusiastically and smiled Kevin, gently intertwining their fingers. Kevin squeezed his hand in response, and he was the happiest he had ever been. Which only made him dread leaving even more. 

☼

Another train departed the station, kicking up debris and dust as it picked up speed. Chanhee still wasn’t used to how loud the trains could be, he rarely went to the station. He never really thought there was much for him outside of Jeonju until he applied for university, and he never really thought he would get into one of Seoul’s prestigious schools. He leaned on his suitcase, and watched as another train that wasn’t his pulled into the station, the sun glinting off the metallic vehicle and into his eyes. 

“Don’t forget to phone us when you get there, and every night after school,” His mother’s voice drowned out as he lost focus. 

“Yeah, yeah, I promise I will. I’ll stay safe and eat my meals too.” He felt bad about tuning her out, but it was stuff he’d heard before. Plus, he felt worse about not saying goodbye to Kevin in person. Ever since Kevin started working more, it made meeting up harder and harder. 

“You’re gonna phone me every night too, right?” Chanhee whipped his head around, and there Kevin was, in all his glory. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Perhaps ditching his suitcase in the middle of a busy train station was a bad idea, but Chanhee couldn’t resist Kevin’s open arms. 

“I asked if I could leave early, and my wishes were granted. I couldn’t let my best friend go all the way to the big city without a goodbye. What if you forgot about me?”

“Pfft, as if. My heart’s staying here with you in Jeonju.”

“Then my heart’s going to Seoul with you.”

“Oh, shut up.” Chanhee playfully hit Kevin’s chest, but then it hit him that he was really leaving in ten minutes. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Kev.” Kevin tightened his arms around Chanhee, and Chanhee almost started crying right there. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Tears seriously threatened to spill over, and Chanhee nestled his face in the crook of Kevin’s neck. He would’ve stayed like that, in Kevin’s embrace, forever if he could. However, his time was painfully ticking away. 

“Kiss me, Kevin.”

“But we’re in public.”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving without kissing you.” Kevin kissed him as gently as he did the first time they kissed, two months prior. Chanhee knew the feeling of Kevin’s lips like the back of his hand, but one more kiss didn’t hurt. 

“You two are  _ dating _ ??”  _ Shit,  _ Chanhee had forgotten his mother was there. He pulled away from Kevin and gave her a nervous smile, not fully sure how to answer. He and Kevin hadn’t exactly gone over the logistics of what their relationship was, and Chanhee wasn’t about to explain that he’d been sleeping with his best friend all summer long. 

“We are.” Kevin’s voice was quiet in his ear, and with the noise of the station, Chanhee was surprised he even heard him. Chanhee turned to face him to make sure he heard him correctly. 

“You sure?” Kevin nodded, and Chanhee faced his mother again, a genuine smile on his face this time. 

“Well, are you?” His mother was standing there with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised, but Chanhee knew she was only pretending to be shocked. He was surprised no one had questioned them about it before. 

“We are.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his train pulled into the station. He gave Kevin one last squeeze before pulling away. “I’ll video chat you if there’s service on the train.” He retrieved his suitcase, which was by some miracle where he left it, and ran to the open doors of the train. As the doors closed behind him, he turned to wave to Kevin and his mother, whom he managed to see waving back. He found his seat, and stared out the window as the train departed, the outskirts of Jeonju slowly morphing into the countryside. He pulled out his phone to check for service, which thankfully the train had. Dialling Kevin’s number with shaking hands into the video chatting app, it rang three times before Kevin picked up. Chanhee couldn’t resist grinning. 

“Hi there, Kev.”

**Author's Note:**

> who wants to join my “cannot bring themself to write smut so just tags it implied sexual content and hopes everyone understands” club
> 
> also, for those wondering, chanhee is majoring in math and kevin is taking art + psych in jeonju


End file.
